Forced fasting for the Lokpal Bill

“Just be ready” warned my wife. I said “Ready for what?”

” Anna is starting his fast again”.  “So what has that got to do with me?”

 “Well! we have decided that this time you can’t shirk your responsiblilty” .
“what do you mean?” I asked perplexed,

“We have decided that you will also go on fast with him whether or not the rest of the world goes on  fast or not .And we have taken  positive steps in that direction.”

This sounded ominous and I thought it  better to nip it in the bud .

            “Let it be very clear my dear wife. I love my lifestyle and that includes my eating also. Nobody else is going to decide whether I will go on fast or not, Anna or no Anna.”

“ My dear Pento! the decision has already been taken and you are outvoted. I voted for you to go on fast and my mother has cast her casting vote in its favour.” “Now I realized how Nawab of Pataudi must have felt when he was ousted from the 1971 West Indies tour by the casting vote of the then Chairman of BCCI Mr Vijay Merchant.”

 “Somy dear hubby, no further discussion on that matter;  But we have decided to be kind to you and have decided to let you have fast food on the first three days.”

 “(Not bad, I thought but better to clarify) Fast food!  what do you mean?”  

“In Maharashtra certain foods are legitimately allowed on “Upvas” (fasting) days, it is called fast food or fasting food. So we have ordered lots of Sabudana (sago rice), for, sabudana kichdi and vada are fasting food, so also boiled peanuts, finger chips and lots of sweet potatoes . I think some ‘fasters’ even allow milk and bananas, may be, but I feel you should not have salt, that is going  against the spirit of fasting,”.

By this time my protest had just become a whimper for I knew there was no use protesting.

            “After the third day you will go on GM diet. It is almost like fasting and you are bound  to lose some of your puppy fat.” This GM diet was formulated for the GM employees. Here you start on a fruit diet on 1^st day eating only fruits , no bananas and no salt , it is advised to take plenty of watermelon as much as you can eat the whole day. And all other fruits. On 2^nd day you have  raw vegetables that is only salads, here also no salt but you can have as much as you can, cucumber, radish, carrot, beetroot, etc . You may start your day with  one medium sized baked potato with butter  on top. 3^rd day you have a combination of fruits and vegetables. Then there is soup day, beef day and red rice day . You are supposed to lose as much as 6 Kgs in one week.

Well that is that, a forced fasting and diet for the sake of others. And so I become a martyr for the Lok pal bill which I doubt whether any of those who are blindly following Anna know what it really signifies?

 Let us now peek into the Lok Sabha to see how our lady Lokpal Bill is performing?  She is not young any more , going on 48 and things aren’t going to be easy for her. She is not in her best appearance and will have a tough time to pass muster the way she has been decked up. Even Anna her best protagonist is not at all happy the way she is to be presented in her current looks. This was no Miss India contest. There was no swim suit round or Evening dress round. No question answer round , and no high profile celebrity judges. She was to be judged by the people who did not really want her but was forced by Anna and the sentiments of the people. We will deal with it another time. Adieu for the time being.

Anna, Annasaheb, Hazare and his fast

     “So,Pento! what do u have to say about Anna.””| Well!, please call him Annasaheb that is the way he was addressed, Annasaheb has been one of my favourites always.” I could not be stopped now. I said “He was one of the best. I would rate him very high, almost next or equal to Naushad and Sachin Dev Burman . Listen to Azad , Albela , or Anarkali ,have you ever heard more scintillating music? Before his death in 1982 he had scored music for over 150 films , Hindi, Marathi , Tamil included. And what about the famous “Mere Vatan ke logon” which brought tears to Pandit Nehruji ?”

“You and your music obsession. I was not talking about your Annasaheb –C.Ramchander.I was talking about Hazare?”.I nodded my head utterly perplexed. “This I could never understand” , I said, “Whenever talk about all time great Indian test team comes about , the fourth position is always given to Vijay Hazare. When I would say this should have gone veritably  to G.R.Vishwanath, the yellow shirt cricketer from Karnataka. Raju Bharatan, erstwhile reknowned sports journalist and music enthusiast,  had called him the artist of Indian cricket in contrast to the scientist Sunil Gawaskar. Just recollect what Tony cozierand Rajsingh Dugarpurkar said about G.R’s aggressiveness against the fastest in the test match at Chepauk in the 1975, which we went to win to level the series 2-2. He was up there against the hostile Andy Roberts, Vanburn Holder and Bernard  Julien, when he scored a belligerent 97out of India’s total of 190  playing almost single handed, when wickets were tumbling at the other end.This innings is considered as the 38^th best innings ever in test cricket in the world and perhaps second best amongst the top ten test innings in Indian  history.”

 “Pento you are as good or as bad as that Raju Bharatan whose two obsessions were cricket and music. All these fasts u undertook have shrunk your brain”.“ What do u mean ? I have not undertaken any fast”. Ether added contritely “I should have said that the fast you should have undertaken with the rest of the country men. You know how much I was shamed in my office the other day, when every one declared the number of days’ fast their hubbies have taken in support of  Anna Hazare ‘s agitation. I also had to say that you were also on fast, to save my face, but the lie was so shameful especially since you were hogging like a pig day and night.. You should be ashamed of yourself going on eating the way you do when the whole of India is in a mass movement in support of Anna. You have no national pride.” I protested”I ofcourse have national pride. And I don’t think I have to go on fast to show off my national pride. And I don’t  ofcourse  hog like a pig but I do enjoy eating. It is one of the things which I enjoy. I don’t believe in taking part  in any of the debates “ Live to eat” vs “Eat to live”. See one has to eat to live but then why not enjoy it also. That is what I say. Appreciate all good things in life  and why not someone’s culiniary effort?”

“Wherever I go I see motivated and concerned men marching shouting slogans and waiving placards in support of the new Gandhian movement that has gripped the nation over the issue of corruption. But you act as if you are separate from all these.” “All these are a result of a temperory mania. As they say a mass hysteria, nothing else. Do you think all these placard wielding jokers don’t take bribes in their respective places of work?.Just a show and nothing else. I do not want to be a party to such an hypocrisy. I knew some of them who also deal in the under the table activities in their workplace. When asked whether they were serious in their protests , they said that they  will see once the Lokpal bill is passed, till that time they have to be practical in real life. Meaning they will continue their style of work till Govt forces them by a strong bill. Do you see the underlying truth my dear wife, Ether.

Anna, his fast and the mass protests

Anna ,Annasaheb, Hazare and the fast

“So,Pento! what do u have to say about Anna.””| Well!, please call him Annasaheb that is the way he was addressed, Annasaheb has been one of my favourites always.” I could not be stopped now. I said “He was one of the best. I would rate him very high, almost next or equal to Naushad and Sachin Dev Burman . Listen to Azad , Albela , or Anarkali ,have you ever heard more scintillating music? Before his death in 1982 he had scored music for over 150 films , Hindi, Marathi , Tamil included. And what about the famous “Mere Vatan ke logon” which brought tears to Pandit Nehruji ?”

“You and your music obsession. I was not talking about your Annasaheb –C.Ramchander.I was talking about Hazare?”.I nodded my head utterly perplexed. “This I could never understand” , I said, “Whenever talk about all time great Indian test team comes about , the fourth position is always given to Vijay Hazare. When I would say this should have gone veritably  to G.R.Vishwanath, the yellow shirt cricketer from Karnataka. Raju Bharatan, erstwhile reknowned sports journalist and music enthusiast,  had called him the artist of Indian cricket in contrast to the scientist Sunil Gawaskar. Just recollect what Tony cozierand Rajsingh Dugarpurkar said about G.R’s aggressiveness against the fastest in the test match at Chepauk in the 1975, which we went to win to level the series 2-2. He was up there against the hostile Andy Roberts, Vanburn Holder and Bernard  Julien, when he scored a belligerent 97out of India’s total of 190  playing almost single handed, when wickets were tumbling at the other end.This innings is considered as the 38^th best innings ever in test cricket in the world and perhaps second best amongst the top ten test innings in Indian  history.”

 “Pento you are as good or as bad as that Raju Bharatan whose two obsessions were cricket and music. All these fasts u undertook have shrunk your brain”.“ What do u mean ? I have not undertaken any fast”. Ether added contritely “I should have said that the fast you should have undertaken with the rest of the country men. You know how much I was shamed in my office the other day, when every one declared the number of days’ fast their hubbies have taken in support of  Anna Hazare ‘s agitation. I also had to say that you were also on fast, to save my face, but the lie was so shameful especially since you were hogging like a pig day and night.. You should be ashamed of yourself going on eating the way you do when the whole of India is in a mass movement in support of Anna. You have no national pride.” I protested”I ofcourse have national pride. And I don’t think I have to go on fast to show off my national pride. And I don’t  ofcourse  hog like a pig but I do enjoy eating. It is one of the things which I enjoy. I don’t believe in taking part  in any of the debates “ Live to eat” vs “Eat to live”. See one has to eat to live but then why not enjoy it also. That is what I say. Appreciate all good things in life  and why not someone’s culiniary effort?”

“Wherever I go I see motivated and concerned men marching shouting slogans and waiving placards in support of the new Gandhian movement that has gripped the nation over the issue of corruption. But you act as if you are separate from all these.” “All these are a result of a temperory mania. As they say a mass hysteria, nothing else. Do you think all these placard wielding jokers don’t take bribes in their respective places of work?.Just a show and nothing else. I do not want to be a party to such an hypocracy. I knew some of them who also deal in the under the table activities in their workplace. When asked whether they were serious in their protests , they said that they  will see once the Lokpal bill is passed, till that time they have to be practical in real life. Meaning they will continue their style of work till Govt forces them by a strong bill. Do you see the underlying truth my dear wife, Ether.

The End of an Era

      Dev anand, the evergreen hero and romantic is no more. And when it is said that this leaves a void not easily filled,  it is simply not a cliché. Who else ruled the roost for more than 60 years acting and producing films? In his career spanning 6 decades he has produced 31 films and directed 19. He has acted in more than a 100 films. An actor  considered a chocolate hero, he had this penchant for nodding his head now and then, a mannerism I think, afterwards picked by the later arrival, superstar Rajesh Khanna.

                         Here he comes, Dev in almost a slothful way with a swaggering shuffle both his hands held by the side, flaccidly swinging, lifeless as though, with expression on his face, clad in black with the sleeves of the pullover rolled back on his full sleeves singing “khoya Khoya chand” down the slope as if he is about to fall forward.. Who can ever forget this scene if you have seen it once. Wearing loose clothes with a “Fuggga”hair style –buffed up tress in front , with frequent nods of head and his staccato speech he was and is  often a target of the mime artists.

                     He is not a great histrionic actor like our Dilipkumar and cannot perhaps cry on the screen like him , Sanjeevkumar, Sunil Dutt or even Big B but he could carry the sad role well with other props as seen in the songs “Kya se kya ho gaya” and “Din dal jaye “ “Kabhie Kudpe kabhie halath pe rona aaya”.

                   Devanand, called as the Gregory Peck of Hollywood was a charming personality with pleasing looks with a boyish charm and quote innocent mannerisms. A literature graduate, in his early career days he was in love with the actor singing sensation Suraiys whom he saved from drowning during a shooting accident but there was opposition from Suraiya’s family and the marriage did not take place. He later married his next co star Kalpana Kartik who was his wife till he died last week. He had in between fallen in love with his find Zeenat Aman as written in his autobiography romancing with life, which did not proceed beyond that. I am sure he must have been a heart throb for many die hard females during his active hero days,  

`                  He was lucky to have a brother in Goldie or Vijayanand to direct some of his wonderful films like Guide, Tere Mere Sapne, Johny Mera Nam, and Jewel thief. All very successful and/or  acclaimed movies. Goldie was a magician in picturisation. Who can  forget the romance, love and the closeness of the a married couple as shown in the songs “Maine kasam lee” and “Jeevan ki bhagiya mahkegi”” from Tere Mere Sapne by Goldie?. The picturisation of the song “Aaj phir jeeneki tamanna hai” is a classic by itself with abundant “joie de vivre”  capturing your heart and soul and thetefore unforgettable. The same Goldie added some fun in the shooting of the songs “Oh oh mere raja” and “ Pal bhar ke liye” from ‘Johny mera naam. Devanand was a thinker ahead of his times. In Tere Mere Sapne he tackled the delicate subject of corruption in medical community much ahead of his time. In guide he had a married woman romancing outside wedlock.. In Hare rama Hare Krishna he tackled the hippy cult which was in vogue then. He played the role of a reluctant brother in “Bombai ka Babu”, a reluctant forced to be a saint in “Guide” and a doctor caught in the commercial world in “Tere Mere Sapne”.

He was also politically active and formed a party and protested against the imposition of emergency. He was a true democrat and gave openings to many  budding stars. As he says in Hum dono I am in search of a place Where the differences between joy and sorrow cease to exist - a sthitha prajna state of Bhagvad Gita . And ultimately he has gone there leaving us a litttle sadder and leaving the sequel to Hare rama Hare Krishna becoming  only a pipe dream.

Here lies the truth-about FDI... IVPentothal

FBI vs FDI and my MIL

                    “Pento! I have a serious problem at hand. Mother has not been sleeping well of late. Said my wife Ether. (This was sort of good news for me, for a sleepy MIL should not be as dangerous a threat to my normal existence as a constantly alert one) Nevertheless I had to be chivalrous, and  I had to show the right thing, 
                      “what happened?” I asked bringing up all my kindish compassionate looks, “She says she is haunted by the FBI”. That was news for me . Well, I  was surprised because usually it would not interfere in such a matter as this which looks purely an internalised internal matter. Well, she had her 2 sons there but they were in good jobs and were rather lambs, so I would not expect any trouble from that quarters. So where lay the problem? I raised the issue with my wife, Ether…I told her in India we might have trouble with the CBI and never with the FBI whatever mischief your mother was upto. And even your mother would not go to that extreme.

                          “she is not worried for herself but for our Mamu-he is our local bania- “ That left me wondering whether our bania has done some questionable dealings and confided in my MIL . Couldn’t imagine what it should be to attract the CBI mistakenly identified by my MIL as FBI.  “she is even scared of looking at the papers nowadays, it is full of FBI.”And surprisingly I had not read anything about FBI in any of the papers I read and I read quite a number of papers on Internet. Then Ether let the cat out of the bag, “ you think Walmart or Kroger or Carrefour would herald the doom of our old bania system?”

                     So it was not FBI after all but FDI which was the cause for my MIL’s headache. She was worried about her old bania – the Mamu who knew her whole family upside down for about 3 generations. So I went on to give a lecture to my wife about FDI. I reminded  her about the fears expressed by the vegetable and fruit sellers when Reliance fresh first came into the market and how after some initial setback they all had got stabilized and found their fears were unfounded. They were later found to be doing good business  as in old days inspite of Reliance fresh offering fresher vegetables and fruits.
                      I also explained to her the benefits of FDI to a country like ours…and what it meant to us as consumers and to our farmers the producers… From what I had garnered FDI would do us more good than bad. The farmers would probably get what is due without the middle men eating into their efforts. And the consumers that is us, will get the produce at a reasonable price in much greater variety and without much damage  because of better storage and transport facilities. And there would be lots of jobs available, about 10million is the projected figure,  for the ones that are lost due to closure of some inefficient  retail outlets. FDI in retail segments have the potential to push India’s real GDP in double digit growth trajectory in the next four years is another projection. And these giants cannot cover the nook and corner of India, may be some urban cities and that too prominent locations. So our Mamu and your dear mother need not keep awake  at night worrying about it all. Instead she can use those hours more fruitfully thinking better and newer ways of harassing me..That closed the little affair of FBI and my MIL.            

Lateral thinking and Police force

Our new Police Commissioner is quite a positive man .
Somewhere he read about Edward De Bono and lateral thinking.
He was told it would help greatly to solve complex problems. And 
as per the Police Commissioner nothing was as complex as solving the intricate problems related to crime. Why not seek Mr De Bono’s help for this. So he took an appointment with him and before that he asked his assistants to read some of his books and give him the gist of those. They were asked to read "The uses of lateral thinking" , "The thinking hats", "The action shoes", and "PO-beyond yes and no"- the new tool for thinking.
Here is a brief summary of their reports as they reached me.
The DCP who was asked to enquire about the thinking hats reported as follows. “Sir it completely goes against the police norms and ethics where we are asked to wear the police caps, a symbol of our dignity and honour. Whenever any superior officer visits us, we wear our caps and we are asked and even reprimanded if the caps are missing .Here in the thinking hats series we are supposed to wear six differently coloured hats depending upon different  thinking modes . So we have to carry all those hats to all our meetings including our own khakhi caps. And it is confusing to think which hat to wear while asking questions? If I want information have to wear white ones. The black ones if I have to disagree with others. Yellow ones if I am positive. and so on different coloured hats as per the purpose at hand.  And these will have to be incorporated into our training courses for it to become our second nature. And  God help those who are colour blind.”
The action shoes DCP reported . “Sir, our regulations specify black military type shoes at all times. In the series action shoes six types of different shoes are suggested. As far as hats are concerned we might even be able to carry the different hats in a carry bag to any meeting, I am not saying it is very convenient but it is feasible but carrying these shoes and changing them for different purposes is very   impractical and foolish. We are police personnel and our duty often calls for on the spur of the moment action and then to wait to change our shoes as per the action that comes to our mind I would say would only make the police a laughing stock. "Give me the Grey ones I have to go exploring." "Give me the orange ones it is an emergency." "Give me the pink slippers the lady needs compassion." Oh sir! we would make mockery of police action and the media
would have a gala time at our cost.”
A third officer reported“ Sir, we have only about 30 lines and can take only 30 calls at a time and any call after 30 we a have to keep the caller on hold for the call to be taken later . Would that qualify for later(el) thinking? Or most of the time we have hardly time to think. We have to act fast or the criminal would get away. It is later that we think about all aspects of the case. Would that also come under later(el) thinking? We should ask this great man
 Edward De Bono about this?”
“PO is very difficult to explain. Usually in a murder case we catch the suspect and look for the motive and/or see any motive and look for the one who benefits. We catch the monkey and expect his tail to be there . Here we catch the tail and expect the monkey to be there at the other end of the tail . If he cuts the tail and runs away we are left holding  the tail. This is what I could understand of PO-very complex sir.”
When all these issues were raised before Mr De Bono He literally (or should we say laterally) excused himself.

Here lies the truth

       I was  reading out aloud to my wife Ether. "You know it is said that Government has so far spent Rupees 31 crores on Kasab. One news estimated it to about 50 crores.”

“What would be 10% of that “
 “About 3.1 crores”
 “And what about 5% of that?”. About 1.55 crores. Just think, if we had that we could have conducted the weddings of our 2 daughters in style.

Now how much Income-tax Governmentt has to pay for that?”

“What do you mean? And why Government has to pay tax on the money spent by it. It is  Government’s money”

“Look at it like this . If you were to spend a crore on your daughter’s wedding wouldn’t the Income Tax departmentt come sweeping down on you asking you to account for the money and ask you to pay the tax due, whatever.And if instead of the Governmentt if some private party was to maintain Kasab wouldn’t the Income-Tax dept ask them to account for the money and ask the party to pay the tax due .Then if it is the Governmentt itself why shouldn’t it pay the tax? I must know. I will invoke the RTI (Right To Information) act if necessary.  “

“See it is the Government’s money part got from IncomeTax paid by the likes of us .It can spend it anywhere it likes and sees fit.It is only accountable to the Auditor General and the parliament.”

“ okay.But if you were to take a loan from a bank then we have to pay interest on the loan and if we default then they charge us for the interest on the interest also. Similarly I think Government t should pay tax on the Tax money spent on Kasab, It is only fair.”

“Now Ether look at it like this. If you were a landlord and had lots of rooms to let and you also stay in one of these , you would charge rent from others but you are not going to pay rent your self”

“But if you  re a Gujarati landlord or if you are business like and if you rent one of the houses to even your Son in Law you are going to charge him rent. Business is only business”

It is all so unfair”

"Yes indeed it is .In our country where there are hundreds of villages without electricity, water supply and with poor sanitation and places where children are dying of malnutrition and farmers are committing suicides, it is very unfair. Why go far? In the villages and tribals of Karjat  we can still see men with just enough clothings to cover their modesty,and women who are bare chested.” “That they are trying to imitate their urban sisters in showing off cleavages,”

"No, they are not showing off cleavages. They are showing off their whole breasts . This is no latest fashion either. They just do not have enough  clothes to cover their chest and hence they don’t cover their breasts.and they are all so malnourished"

"It is so unfair," said my wife nodding her  head. "It is really unfair if they were to ask poor Kasab to pay tax on the money spent on him."

Here lies the truth- IVPentothal

My wife Ether as she usually is, is very encouraging “Tut Tut what nonsensical title is this?.Here lies the truth. It is an antithesis as your whole life has been so far. At least you should have consulted my mother who is an English teacher before this Hanumanic jump to this meaningless title. I can assure you of one thing no erudite lady will ever even glance at your article with a title like this. How can truth lie? How can a boy be a girl? How can a night be day? How can white be black? And remember it is the ladies who read such meaningless columns-don't know why  they do that-whatever the reason. So, the first thing to do is to retract.  Say I am extremely sorry to the readers .Tell them that your MIL who is an eminent English professor has made you see reason and told you to alter the header. How do I know what title to add now. Follow what Hemingway did, choose your title from Bible or even your Bhagwad Gita. “

                        Whatever wavering I had experienced regarding the suitability or otherwise of the title disappeared once I was certain that my wife and esp my MIL thoroughly disapproved of the title. It must be really good to get such raving reviews. Now that part is settled to everyone’s satisfaction I must plan the content of my columns. Now you might say how can you call it settled when my bitter-half  is quite bitter about it. I am one of those who leave avenues for my wife to carp about. Now she and her mother have a lifetime to talk about . If my column turns out to be a failure as they expect, they could say we told you so. And contrary to all their expectations if  it succeeds they can say we were checking on your resolve and knew all the time that if we criticize, you will adhere stubbornly to the wonderful title suggested by my mother.

1. “And my mother says you should do some research before you put the pen to the paper. You should be very clear whether it is the apple or the cherry or the peach tree that Washington jr cut. So for once as a favour to you, as this is your maiden attempt at writing my mother has agreed to let you know from her treasury of knowledge that it was the apple tree which was cut. This wasthe same tree from which the apple fell on his head and Washington discovered the law of gravity.
2. My dear readers !don’t, please don’t ever think of contesing this. If my MIL says Washington discovered or even invented Gravity, leave it at that. She will refuse to entertain any other notion or if she is in a condescending mood she might accept that someone with …… ton discovered G for all she cares.

Could be Newton, Washington or even Princeton – the latter, in fact  is a place in British Columbia, where a close bridge friend stays. I play a lot of internet bridge and have many international friends and have found the Canadians to be full of warmth and love when compared to others who are also friendly but a little arrogant. Please note the fact that most of these are ladies as ladies outnumber the gents among bridge players and playing regularly with them they become  your friends.
In the next column I will try to explain why I chose this header and this pseudonym.

,

Here lies the truth- IVPentothal

Honesty is the best policy
I was in 8th std then,it was our first CA class, None of us knew what CA meant, but we were supposed to talk on this topic, and funnilly none of us really knew the terms honesty, best or policy either. Not that we understand the terms in depth now but we are better acquainted with the ramifications now than what we knew then,  We did have some of us talking on it, about it, and around it. I cannot now recall exactly what we talked about. But our teacher was n’t really unhappy about it, So it seemed okay.
I think we must  have talked about Harischandra the honest king, George Washington and the
woodcutter who lost his wood handled axe in the river. May be we just went blah blah about the need to be honest in all matters of life.”Honesty being the best policy” was then considered to be an inviolate thing, not to be talked of otherwise.
Now over years I have gained valuable inputs into these things the meaning of which were not very
 clear in those formative years. So today “Honesty” packs a lot of punch and one is clear about its usage. It is ofcourse very personal what meaning you attribute to it.
Let us take the case of Washington who had cut a tree whether an apple tree or  a cherry tree or a
 peach tree is irrelevent, but the fact remains that it is against all environmental safety measures and the perpetrator who ever it is would come under the scrutiny of law and I am sure that George’s father would not be very keen for his son to own up what he did though it might catapult him into eternal fame as an honest youth. If it was in India the Muncipal Authorities would be at your door with all embarrassing questions thereby sidelining honesty into a bylane.
         In this context it would be interesting to discuss a one act play written and directed by Kader Khan for an inter collegiate competition which won him an award after years of waiting”Badi dher kar dhee meherban aathe aathe” (The benefactor took a lot of time to arrive).It is about a man trapped under a fallen tree who could not be rescued in time because of all the red tapism and environmental issues involved in the  cutting of the already fallen tree.
More about this in my regular column”Here lies the truth” by IVPentothal.